Ghost and Spirit
by Goth-leaf1
Summary: On October 31 spirits cross over and are seen again. Promises are kept.


Many people think of costumes or trick or treating on October 31, while I think of the dead. Well, more technically, spirits that have returned. Also I think about Mathias.

When the bell finally rings I sent a silent prayer to the Norse Gods. Why even have school on Halloween anyways? No one cared, all anyone thought about was whether their costumes were sexy or cool enough. Costumes were stupid in my opinion. Of course Mathias loved dressing up. Leaving the school yard, I spotted Emil leaving with a group of other teenagers. A urge to follow him became powerful. I picture myself walking behind him and keeping him safe from a distance. A bright smile invaded my thoughts. Tonight Emil will just have to look after himself, I need to see Mathias again.

He's there before me. Sitting against the garden shed in the shade I would have missed him. If not for this was our spot. When he spots me his face lights up and he starts waving. I walked slower, trying to take more time. All year I've been waiting for this day where I could see him again and now that it's here and he's here strange feelings stir inside me. I know that I will fall for his smile and when he leaves I will cry. As it has been for the past years.

"I've been waiting for you forever, Lukas. Where have you been? I was worried you wouldn't show!" I caught a glimpse of worry and fear in his blue eyes and guilt rose inside of me.

Looking at my feet, I mumbled "Today was a school day. I got here as soon as I could."

I sat down next to him. Determined not to see his face, I stared at the sea of gravestones in front of us.

"You don't need to go to school." He said in a small voice.

I stared harder in front of us. Past the stones are the gates. Past the gates are crowds of people hustling about. Some were living, on their way to other houses. Some were spirits, who had returned for this day. The spirits walked right through the living. Both paid no attention to the others.

"There's a lot of spirit this year."

"Oh, yeah? Did your fairies and trolls tell you that?"

I sent him a glare that usually killed people but he just laughed. I like his laugh. It meant that he forgave me and already moved on. Also it was a beautiful sound.

"Lukas you're blushing!" He raised his hand as if to touch my cheek.

"Shut up and come on." I jumped up and bolted, heading for the gates. Laughter followed behind me.

I took the least crowded path and paid special attention not to touch anyone. Mathias did the same. As we left town he caught up beside me and started to chat away. His voice droned on and I nodded as if I was listening to his words. He had an amazing voice. It was strong. He had screamed far louder than l thought he could. He could sing well too, especially the low notes. I can't believe I didn't pay attention to all the songs he had sung from the radio. It also held so much emotion. Far more than mine did. My voice was always monotone, keeping my feeling inside of me.

His hand moved as he walked. He either used it in his rants or let it lay limply at his side. I always wanted to reach out and hold it whenever we had walked together. Why didn't I do it before?

We walk along the road. The scenery changes around us from houses to farms to fields. The living and the spirits became less. I noticed how the sun was already falling and the crickets chirping. Damn the fall days. To soon. To soon.

"Do you ever think about it?" He said, pulling me from my head.

"Think about what?"

"You know. It. Do you ever think about it?" I do know. And I do think about it. I tell him that in a few broken words. He goes silent for a minute, perhaps reminiscing the last moments.

It was supposed to be a fun road trip before we went off to college. I remember making so much effort to convince my friends not to go so that me and Mathias could be alone. It was embarrassing, really, how I fawned over him. It was supposed to be the week I finally confessed my love for the other male. But I guess fate, a cow and a well placed tree had different idea. Now I'm too much of a coward. I owe him too much.

He stops suddenly and looks up at the sky. The sun is sinking. We are in the middle of nowhere with fields of tall grass surroundings us. He gestures to the scenery.

"Beautiful. Isn't it?"

I nodded. I can't talk right now without letting out a sob. I can't let Mathias see me cry. I know I will see him next year, so why am I crying? Because I know that the year is going to be long and uneventful making me feel nothing. Being with Mathias probably made me feel more than I would alone. Mathias turns towards me when he hears my sob.

"Don't cry, Lukas. Please don't." He come closer. Before I know it I am enveloped in his arms. "You can come with me. We will be so happy together, I promise."

A aura of bright light starts to surround us. Warmth finds its way into my bones. My bones! A summer breeze fills the air with the smell of the forest. I would be happy with Mathias I had always known that. I could go and be with him, but….

It took three heartbeats to hit the tree, each had its own thought.

One. The tree. We will hit.

Two. Mathias was screaming. I love him.

Three. Emil. My promise.

Emil, my younger brother who was so young when it happened. My parents didn't love him like I did. I took care of him myself. I promised that I would always be with him and take care of him. I always kept my promises.

One second I was in the car with Mathias, then I was alone. With my promise beating in my soul.

That same promise beated inside of me and I panic. I slipped from Mathias grip and fell down. I don't even have time to look up at him before he is gone with the light. Darkness sets in bringing a chilly wind I can't feel. Now that Mathias is gone my insides start to go numb. Till it feels like I won't ever have another feeling again. As this gloom sets in I don't notice the tears sliding down my face. I head back to town to find Emil.

Next year.


End file.
